What’s a Money Date (and Why You Should Have One)
The What — What Exactly Is a Money Date?
Money dates might sound like something reserved for couples — but in reality, they’re for anyone who wants to feel more clear, confident, and empowered with their money.
Think of your money date as a recurring check-in, similar to what you’d have with a personal trainer, where you see where you’re at, how you’re feeling, and adjust as necessary — it keeps you centered and moving toward your goals.
The Why — Why Bother Having a Money Date?
Money dates are powerful — they give money meaning beyond the numbers.
They help you feel confident and in control, providing peace of mind. They also give you space to plan ahead and pivot when life shifts — maybe this month calls for a little more self-care, or perhaps it’s time to tackle that home repair you’ve been putting off.
Even if you feel anxious because you don’t know where you stand, just knowing will give you a sense of relief and control. My clients who were afraid to look at their numbers have told me they were surprised that things weren’t as bad as they thought, and that it was actually empowering.
The How — The Three Components of a Great Money Date
Every money date has three components: Practical, Emotional, and Values — and all are necessary.
If you focus only on the practical, you may find yourself repeating unconscious patterns that slow your progress. If you focus only on the emotional, you won’t have a clear sense of where you stand or what you can safely spend, and without the values piece, you may spend out of habit and have less to spend on what matters most to you.
Set an actual date on your calendar, just as you would any other appointment, and keep your Money Date to between 30 - 60 minutes, no more. You can start weekly if you like, but most people ease into a monthly routine. Make sure to give yourself space and quiet so you can focus, but keep things light, and focused on the future, not past mistakes.
1. The Practical
This is where you take action and take a real look at your numbers.
What to check:
Take stock of where you are financially (income, expenses, debt, credit score).
Fix any money leaks (like a forgotten subscription or a too-high cell phone or cable bill).
Review your accounts and making sure nothing seems unusual or out of place.
Plan for upcoming non-monthly expenses (like holiday or birthday gifts).
Make sure that every dollar has a “job”.
2. The Emotional
This is where you explore and refine your money beliefs, money mindset, patterns, and dynamics.
Ask yourself:
What emotions come up for you as you look at your money (resistance, fear)?
Are there patterns you notice that are being repeated?
Are there specific triggers you’re seeing (especially if you are partnered) that cause stress?
What emotions do you attach to money?
3. The Values
This is where you explore what money means to you and how you want to spend it.
Ask yourself:
Does my spending reflect what I care about most?
Am I spending out of habit, convenience, or obligation?
How can I spend more on what’s most important to me?
Do I need to revisit - or discover - my core values?
Money Dates with a Partner
If you’re partnered, you each bring different life experiences and money styles to the table — and sometimes that can create friction.
The key is to make your money conversations feel safe and blame-free. Respect each other's point of view and allow for both individual as well as joint goals and calm discussion. Discuss each other’s money stories and values. When you approach money as teammates, it strengthens trust, connection, and shared purpose - and your relationship.
For Solopreneurs
If you’re a solopreneur or have variable income, money dates are even more important. They help you stay organized, plan for slow months, and ensure both your business and personal finances stay on track.
The Wrap-Up — Celebrate, Reflect, and Plan Ahead
Honor yourself for showing up and creating time and space to build a new relationship with your money. It’s a loving act of self-care that affects every area of your life.
Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and focus on what’s going right.
Do something enjoyable right after your money date, which gives your brain a positive association and keeps you motivated.
Jot down one or two new topics to explore at your next money date.
Reframe mistakes as learning experiences and forgive yourself.
It’s about consistency and progress, not perfection. I promise, it will change your relationship with money - and your life.
Want to Go Deeper?
If you’d like to better understand the behavioral side of your money, you can start by learning what your individual Money Personality is — we all have one — it’s the unique mix of thoughts, feelings, and attitudes that unconsciously shape your financial decisions.
Understanding your Money Personality can help you discover your strengths, and tailor how you manage your money so that you can make changes that are lasting. If you are partnered, individual Money Personality Assessments can foster better communication, greater understanding and stengthen your bond.